A great way to celebrate your relationship and give thanks to friends and family!

Wedding anniversaries are an important time for most couples, but they usually just celebrate them together.  If they are tempted to involve others they may just think of holding a party, but there's a lot more that can be done to give a real focus, say important things, and make public your joy.

Less than 1% of the population attend church, and yet more than 2/3rds of people in Britain say they believe in some kind of 'higher' power or Spirit.  Could you be one of that vast majority?  If so, and you'd like to celebrate your anniversary in a meaningful way, and not be constrained by convention.... CALL ME.

There are probably no two blessings that will be the same.  In almost every case, we will craft something together that precisely reflects your needs.

The significant difference about an Interfaith blessing is that it accommodates differences (in Faith, lifestyle choice, and previous circumstances) and still recognizes and draws on the Divine in the relationship.  This is not something that most Faiths can offer.

We can include favourite verses, appropriate songs and chants, words that mean something to you, and NOT ones that upset you.  We may have a small intimate gathering or a massive public event.

You may exchange vows (and if we do, then the couple has complete freedom over the words), or we may not.  Some couples want to restate their original vows, others to make very different ones, and some take the best bits from the past and build on them with the experience they have gained.

If the couple want to involve other people, then they can do so in many creative ways.

The ceremony doesn't have to happen in neat rows of chairs, nor does it have to be 'in the round', people can be standing, sitting, formal or informal.  There are no constraints on dress style either - some couples try to wear what they wore for their wedding, others have no intention of doing so, some choose something to reflect the anniversary itself (coral pink flowers for a 35th, for example) while some might prefer a suitable theme that reflects their common interests.

If all these choices frighten you, don't panic.  I've lots of ideas, and a good feel for what works and what doesn't, we'll talk things through and craft a ceremony that suits you (and the people around you).

Does it have to be a 'big' anniversary?

No.  It's often only for the big ones (Silver, Ruby and Gold) that many couples decide to hold a party.  But this doesn't have to be the case at all.

• Perhaps, your wedding wasn't quite the event you had intended - a relative was ill, someone important couldn't make it, or family dynamics got in the way.  Some couples end up 'on duty' and don't get to really experience the day for themselves.  And, sometimes the wedding ceremony itself was lacking.  We could always celebrate your first anniversary the way YOU want it.

• Have you survived a really challenging year?  Some years are traumatic - one partner suffers from a serious illness, or is made redundant, perhaps the relationship itself has been on the brink of failing.  It's at times like this that you might want to give thanks to family and friends for their support or to one-another in front of witnesses.  Any anniversary can be a time for rejoicing.

• Do you want to share some good times?  If this year has been especially good, it could be just right to celebrate with friends.  The arrival of a much wanted and unexpected baby, being allowed to adopt a new member into the family, when one partner graduates from University after years of studying, maybe even winning the lottery!  An anniversary celebration is a great focus for sharing.

• 'Big' Anniversaries can be made that little bit more special.  A party is a party.  Some are memorable, some less so; some get remembered for the right reasons, and some for the wrong ones!  Incorporating a blessing can be a great way of adding something positive that will be special and remembered for years to come.

What kind of people can I help?

Anyone.  Regardless of background, Faith, or any other personal circumstances.  While it seems obvious that an anniversary celebration is right for married couples, there are some for whom marriage isn't, or wasn't, an option but who want to celebrate a number of years together - it could be the anniversary of a first date, for instance.

One lesbian couple were reaching their 15th year together and felt it was time to thank their families and friends for all the support they had shown them.  When they dug deep into their old diaries they discovered the date that they had first met, and chose this as the day for an anniversary blessing.

Are there legal or other constraints?

Absolutely none.  Unlike a marriage itself, blessings can be performed wherever you choose, following whatever format you want, and involving anyone you want.  The only constraint will be your own judgement.

Some couples have developed a strong affinity with a particular place over the years, and they want to celebrate there.  Perhaps it's a favourite hotel, or holiday destination.

Others have ideas of an exotic celebration that they could never have afforded when they were younger.  Perhaps you'd like to head off on a cruise and be met at one of the stop-overs for a beach-front blessing.  Most dreams can somehow be turned into reality.

What does an Inter-Faith blessing contain?

There are probably no two blessings that will be the same.  In almost every case, we will craft something together that precisely reflects the couple's needs.

The significant difference about an Interfaith blessing is that it accommodates differences (in Faith, lifestyle choice, and previous circumstances) and still recognizes and draws on the Divine in the relationship.  This is not something that most Faiths can offer.

We can include favourite verses, appropriate songs and chants, words that mean something to you, and NOT ones that upset you.  We may have a small intimate gathering or a massive public event.  We can exchange rings, other tokens, or nothing at all.  We may make vows (and if we do, then the couple has complete freedom over the words), or we may not.  If the couple want to involve other people, then they can do so in many creative ways.

The ceremony doesn't have to happen in neat rows of chairs, nor does it have to be 'in the round', people can be standing, sitting, formal or informal.  There are no constraints on dress style either.

If all these choices frighten you, don't panic.  I've lots of ideas, and a good feel for what works and what doesn't, we'll talk things through and craft a ceremony that suits you (and the people around you).

If we decide we like this idea, what will we need to do?

To begin with, just give me a call (07785 222380) or email me (graham@inter-faith.net).  If you already have a date in mind, let me know, and if I can't make that date, I can always refer you to one of the other 100+ interfaith ministers in the UK who might be able to help.

It's vital that you feel comfortable working with me, so the first step is for us to meet and learn a bit about each other.  I'll try to find out a bit about your expectations and needs.  I'll also be trying to understand your thoughts and feelings about Faith and spirit so that I can make sure that the ceremony will be right for you.  Unless it involves extensive travelling, THIS MEETING IS FREE AND WITHOUT ANY OBLIGATION EITHER WAY. 

(If distances are too great, I will suggest that we have a conversation on the phone first, for you to decide if you are happy to proceed.)

We will then have two more meetings.  At these we will do three things:

• We will talk through all the wonderfully creative aspects of the ceremony, and a shape will evolve that I'm sure will be right for you.

• We will identify the others involved, and the detail of their contributions.

• I will present you with a draft of the ceremony, to give you a proper feel for the detailed flow, for us to iron out any aspects you aren't comfortable with, and for you to explore any words that I might have used so that you are happy there too.

During the meetings, I may also ask you to explore your relationship a little too.  This might seem strange, especially if you are celebrating one of the 'big' anniversaries, but other changes in our lives can make it worthwhile exploring things together.  For example, where one partner is retiring and perhaps the other has looked after the home for much of their married life, they can find that their relationship has some adjustments to make.  There is a lot of evidence that a few simple open and honest conversations can significantly help.

(If we find there's a bit more to explore in the relationship than we'd thought, don't worry.  We can always arrange an additional couple counselling session separately to avoid it getting in the way of planning the celebration.  Some couples need it, some don't and some just think it's an interesting idea.  Whichever, the choice is up to you.)

Usually, two meetings are all that are needed to plan the day.  You'll find I am very laid-back about 'performing' and some of that will hopefully rub-off if necessary.  For most ceremonies, we will have a short practice beforehand on the day, and that will be plenty.  Of course, a more elaborate event might warrant a dress rehearsal and if so we can arrange that too.

On the day then, we'll meet at the pre-arranged time, explore the venue a little together, and have a run through.  You'll have some time for quiet together, and I will have a little time to prepare myself, guests will arrive, and an anniversary with a difference will unfold around us.

More information, please?

The easiest thing to do is pick up a phone and give me a call (07785 222380).  I can probably answer most doubts or questions on the spot.  But you can also give the rest of this site a browse.  You'll find all sorts of other information here.

A lot of people find it reassuring to know a little more about me.  Click here to see a brief profile.  If you'd like to know a bit more about interfaith generally, click here to download an introductory brochure.

A wedding with meaning needn't be expensive.  For details of my current rates, click here.